Love God. Love Others. Pretty much sums up the Great Commandment found in Matthew 22 and Luke 10. So, what does that look like? Part of the Real Life of a believer is that they engage with those who are their “neighbors.” Read the following real life story of how it’s lived out in one young family’s life.
“John 13:34 and Luke 10:27 show us that loving our neighbors and each other points people to Jesus. It doesn’t have to be fancy… instead, we have prayed that God would put people in our path who need to know the love of Jesus. That he would open our eyes to their needs. And that he would help us to love them well. Then, we have intentionally created margin in our schedules so that we have time to drop everything and “do big things” for people.
For us, it means listening for people who are hurting, and looking for a way to surprise them with love. It may mean leaving a pie on someone’s porch, or throwing an impromptu graduation party for a neighbor who moved across the country to care for his dad who has cancer. He was 1,000 miles away from his friends and classmates, so we got our neighbors together and surprised him with a party. We try to get our girls involved – when our child overhears us talking about someone who is sick or hurting, her first response is now, “I’ll draw them a picture so we can mail it to them to help them feel better.”
In 2016 we decided that we wanted to love BIG by setting a goal to host 200 people in our home in one year. We ended up hosting 258. It was a blast, and there is no better place to show someone Jesus’ love than to invite them to sit at your table with you. We don’t keep count anymore, but we probably still host 150-200 people a year, because it’s just what we prioritize as a family. It’s never fancy – often we’ll just order pizza. Folks don’t come to our house for the cooking – hospitality isn’t about impressing people. It’s about listening to and honoring people and making them feel like they’re part of the family. People let their guards down and share their hearts around your table.
We have a huge heart for the neighbors God has placed on our street, and we prioritize spending time with them. Almost none of them know Jesus… although they’re all getting to know Him, one cookout at a time.
Again, we build lots of margin in our schedules so that we can invite folks over for an impromptu pool party in the driveway after work (with our fancy $14 Walmart plastic pool). What’s really cool is that our neighbors have caught on, and now they look for opportunities to host each other as well. We had about 50 of our neighbors over for Easter this year… just a simple cookout in the driveway with a borrowed bounce house in the front yard. Another neighbor hosted all of us for a Mother’s Day weekend cookout, and another neighbor is planning a 4th of July cookout on our street – complete with a “parade” for the kids. We probably hang out with our neighbors 2-3 times a week… it’s never formal, rarely inside. We just set up our lawn chairs in the driveway and wait for folks to come over. They always do.
Loving your neighbor is contagious, and it’s something our whole family can do together. It’s also really fun. I should also add, when loving your neighbor, you have to remember that people aren’t projects. People know if they’re projects. We try to simply love people well AND look for opportunities to share Jesus in our everyday conversations. When you’re being intentional, you’d be amazed at how many opportunities you have to share.
If you look around and all your friends are believers… keep looking.”
He died April 29, 2017, at the age of 87. He lived for Christ, for kingdom and for family.
He was a man.
Dad pastored for 67 years, so I was raised a preacher’s kid, but I didn’t have anything to complain about. He wasn’t one of those famous preachers – he was a small church pastor in small towns all over Oklahoma, Utah and Arizona. A champion. A huge influence on entire communities. He served because it mattered, because he was called, not for fame or ambition. It was as pure as it gets.
He and my mom did an amazing job with my brother, Matt and me. It was an amazing upbringing. The memories – wow! I remember Matt and I hanging onto his back as he dove into the deep end of the Motel 6 pools on vacations showing us how to “go deep” in the water. We played sports, fixed cars (and rebuilt a few), and drove all over the nation in those legendary 1960’s vacation trips.
He put Matt and I in an inner-tube (google it) and pulled us around in the rare Oklahoma snow behind his Ford. I still think he kicked a football as high as anyone I’ve ever seen. He had a wicked right cross (he boxed in the Navy) and once nearly knocked me out accidentally. I was 10 years old and he was sparring with me on his knees, showing how it was done. When I regained composure and asked, “what happened?” he replied, “you dropped your guard. Don’t do that.” Very effective lesson.
Some of you may be horrified to hear that – others will nod knowingly. It’s dad stuff, done in love. It seemed to work pretty well. We turned out fine.
When we weren’t doing stuff like that, I simply watched him. I watched him carve out a hour each morning to slip away to a side porch in our house to pray and read the Bible. I watched him cry for us and sometimes because of us. I watched him restrain his words and his temper when I would test his limits as a teenager. I watched him love my mom, and make her feel like she was the most special woman in the world. I watched him talk people “off the ledge” of doing disastrous things, and I watched him lead people to Jesus. I watched him deal with angry people without losing his own temper. He was a man.
As I grew older, Dad become more of a mentor. He taught me things no one else would take the time to do it. He was the biggest backer of both my brother and I, and I think deep down, we knew it. He BELIEVED in us. When we were separated by distance we got the regular phone calls. “How’s the job? How’s the weather? How’s the car running?” It was dad/kid conversation – it was staying in touch.
I could write a book. Maybe I should. I know that not everyone has had a great dad experience, and I know some who had the worst – but they are determined to change that by being incredible dads themselves. It’s worth it guys. Be a man like you want to be known to have been.
When dad died, we all knew what we’d lost. There were the great times we wished we’d had some more of, and words we all wished we’d said, but death doesn’t wait around like we think it will. He’s gone on to his considerable heavenly reward. We have great memories.
And an enormous example.
My dad was a man. He was THE man. Happy Father’s Day, dad.
A long time ago, as a young boy, I took my first motorcycle ride on my own. I had no instruction, no warning, and certainly no idea of the power that was in that little engine. While I understood the general idea of the throttle activated by the handgrip, I was not well versed on how the brakes worked – nor did I have experience steering the thing.
Sure enough, I gave it gas (a lot of gas), let out the clutch and away I went – straight into a barbed wire fence. I just remember hanging on for dear life. Embarrassed, cut up and with a scratched (and borrowed) motorcycle, I lived to learn the lesson of underestimating the machine and the chain of events that would happen when I gave it gas.
In these past few weeks, I’ve watched something painfully similar unfold in social media circles regarding events far and wide. We’ve lost control of the machine. We’ve allowed emotion, assumptions, and self-righteousness to drive us into the fence. I’ve seen anger in the posts of somewhere I’ve never seen it before. Who are you and how did you become this way? I think I know: you’ve watched the world and how this game is played there.
It’s a game of paper prophets, committees of one, and communication that has no question marks – just exclamation marks. Why can’t we have a conversation? One where questions are asked and the exchange of information takes place before the railing begins?
This is not our game. This is not our way. We don’t communicate like this. Not in the kingdom. Not in God’s family or denomination.
With care and restraint, we must remember:
*Speech is to be seasoned with grace – so it brings grace to the hearer (in this case the whole world)
*Facts are to be verified by two or three witnesses before judgment is brought
*We’re to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
*We really, really need to stay on mission.
Social media engines are powerful. They make an audience out of everyone. That can also make a target out of anyone. Even you. Remember you have brakes – the restraint of wisdom and patience. We have handlebars – to steer clear of a damaging testimony and harsh judgment before facts are clear. We should ALWAYS stand for what’s right—and do so with great passion. However, when we resort to arguing, fighting, and attempting to destroy each other, we only hurt ourselves and the mission to which He’s called us.
And, at the very least, we can act like we believe that God is in control and will show us how to deal with all we’re facing when we gather face to face. He’s managed to do that well—long before the internet became a thing.
Thoughts from John Meador and insights from God's Word.